The Glass

I see you all through a pane of glass. Thick glass. I was out there once. I know what it is like. The sun is shining, the air is light, so much to do. I see it now…but through the glass. I can’t get there anymore.

You see me too. You love me. You want to make me feel better. But..the glass..and there is so much to do out there. Tomorrow you will do something. Besides, I smile when I look through the glass at you. I must be doing okay.

There are other people in here with me. The old, the infirm, the other caregivers. I saw them too when I was on the outside of the glass.  I loved them. I wanted to help them. But there’s so much to do out here, outside the glass. And the glass is so very hard to get through.  I would do something for them tomorrow. And they were smiling at me, when we looked through the glass and saw each other, so they must have been okay.

They weren’t okay. I’m not okay.

The glass has taken our lives and shut us up in an invisible prison.

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The Dentist

We found a dentist that could work on Patrick. Just down the street too. Literally 5 minutes away. So, finally, for the first time in 4 1/2 years, first time after the accident, Patrick got his teeth cleaned.

They were able to use some mild anesthesia and do X-rays, deep clean etc. He has very good and healthy teeth. No cavities-yay! I am so happy to get it done and protect his teeth. Oh, and they put sealants on again. It seemed a good idea under the circumstances.

Without anesthesia, i don’t think, well I know, it couldn’t have been done. Yelling, thrashing, teeth clamping.

The downside of anesthesia is for one, Pat couldn’t eat that morning so he had meds on an empty stomach. That lead to throwing up as soon as we got him loaded into the van. I had suggested a small morsel to ward that off,  but it was shot down by the other half….

More Importantly, anesthesia can lead to seizures anytime in the few weeks afterwards. Therefore, I am on pins and needles, anxious at the least sign of seizure. It is always something causing anxiety and worry.

Here is a picture of Pat enjoying relaxing afterwards. You can see why I want to keep his teeth nice. Look at that smile. All the years of Dr Clemons (orthodontist) paid off.IMG_1106